I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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