I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
