Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
