haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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