Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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