So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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