i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
