I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
