The maid of honor just puked.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
