new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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