his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
