Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
