i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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