Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
