i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
