could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
