Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
