I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I think I am morally bankrupt
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I have fence marks all over my body
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
