I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
