The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
