sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
