STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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