sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I think I just sharted jello shots
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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