I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
