I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
