I hate all girls vehemently.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
