would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
