Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
