i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I need a burrito and a hug.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
