At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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