Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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