another moral hangover. fuck.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
