You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
