I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize