I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
