I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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