I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
there is another microwave in the elevator.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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