you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
