How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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