thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
