well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
