i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
