You made me cry and you don't even care
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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