There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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