Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
