I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Someone shattered a urinal.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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