or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
