Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I would fuck him just for his dog
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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