I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
