ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
