Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
