the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
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